MESSENGER BIRD'S SONG. [OPEN]

[• SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

[/i] to think of a thing like that. Physical discomfort would take a while to penetrate the troubled thoughts of the Slytherin; his emotional discomfort took the lead at the present time.

There were two people he was escaping that day. The same two people he had to escape basically every other day, too. James Potter and Sirius Black. Ever since their first year at Hogwarts, they had incessantly mocked and prodded at Severus, for no reason in particular, really. Of course, Snape thought that James' motivation for his taunting might have stemmed from some jealously. The fact that Lily Evans and he were such good friends while Potter was 'romantically' interested in Lily might have rubbed the Gryffindor boy the wrong way, and for that Severus was anything but sorry. But still ti brought on the teasing that Severus had to esape that day - with,Sirius Black following Potter's lead like the loyal dog he was.. Sometimes, when Severus consciously gave them a reason to retaliate against him, their words and actions didn't bother him very much. But when the cruelty was unprompted, undeserved even... Merlin, Severus was only walking back toward the school from the Herbology greenhouses when they had called out to him, yelled those less-than-clever insults that they used on a daily basis. The idiot wankers couldn't even think of anything original. They just used the same material over and over again, because they both collectively had the brain capacity of an infant chimpanzee. But even so, that didn't stop them from getting under Severus's skin, however loathe he was to admit it.

It was the middle of one of the warmer days in September, and Severus had a free period, mercifully right after Herbology. He hadn't seen any other students heading in the direction of the Owelery so he had immediately turned in that direction, wanting to avoid human contact as much as possible lest he let his internal emotions get the better of him. Those two trolls weren't allowed to know how much their bullying bothered Severus, not now and not ever. No one could know, not even Lily, because that implied a weakness on Severus's part, and weaknesses were not something the half-blood liked to put on display. Even so, he couldn't keep the scowl off of his face as he plucked feathers off the cotton of his black robes, and the few mutterings of, "Thick-headed imbeciles," and other such phrases showed quite clearly that those things Potter and Black had said had stung.

Severus wished for a moment that Lily was there with him. No matter how bad his day was, she was always good for cheering him up. Even if he didn't want to tell her exactly what was bothering him, she would try her best to at least make him grimace. That was close enough to a smile for it to count. She wouldn't ask questions either. She was just so kind to him, the best friend he'd ever have, the prettiest girl... Severus sighed and straightened up slightly where he sat, raising his dark eyes to glance at a few of the slumbering owls overhead. Yes, Lily Evans was the most amazing person Severus knew, and he was more than lucky to have her... Or really, more than lucky to have gotten to her before Potter. Yes, Snape had no doubt at all that if he had not been in the picture initially, if he had never seen the young Lily performing wandless magic before either of them got their acceptance letters to Hogwarts, she would have gone off to the school of witchcraft and wizardry and been swept off her feet by the ever-charming and over-confident James Potter. Of course, Severus would never express these opinions to the red-headed Gryffindor girl, because she really couldn't stand the boy and his incessant advances, but... Well, it was just something that entered the young Slytherin's mind every once in a while, much to his contempt.

The black-haired boy wondered briefly who all of the owls in the place belonged to. Which one, he wondered, belonged to Lily? He didn't have an owl himself. He couldn't afford one, much to his embarrassment, and on the rare occasion that he did have to send a letter he used one of the owls provided by the school. But that was nothing new. Severus never could afford much. To some people, like Lily, such a thing didn't matter. To other, like Potter and Black, it did. Probably because they were so well off, with their most noble and ancient pureblooded lineages and their mounds and mounds of wizard gold buried beneath Gringotts. The spoiled little prats, prancing around with galleons jingling in their trouser pockets, the newest fashions on their bodies, the newest brooms in their hands, the finest bloody merchandise anyone could ever buy, when they didn't deserve a knut of it.

But Severus was just descending farther and farther into that giant pool of hate for those big-headed Gryffindors he more often than not waded in. He had walked to the Owlery to avoid thinking about them, but he wasn't doing a very good job of that. He would try thinking about Lily, but that always led to him thinking about how much Potter seemed to like her and how often he, for lack of a better term, propositioned her, and of course Potter and Black were a package deal. Of course, Lupin and Pettigrew accompanied them, but they didn't bother Snape. They kept their mouths shut and simply observed as their heroes and best friends squashed Snape beneath their well-polished shoes. As it was, Severus just couldn't find away to clear his head of them, or the things they had said to him. He might have done better to go down into the dungeon, perhaps have a talk with Professor Slughorn and see if he could be of any assistance, or maybe start brewing another one of the many potions he had invented and scribbled in his notebook. That would have been a better distraction, he now realized, but the solitude of the Owlery had appealed to him at once, and his feet had led him there. And so, instead of heading back to the castle and risking running into anyone he wanted to avoid, he stayed where he was, colorless eyes scanning the rows and rows of rustling owls and looking for the one that would perhaps best compliment the red of Lily's hair and the green of her eyes.[/size][/ul]

[LILY MICHELLE EVANS]

((Like I could possibly resist? Ha!))


Lily was furious; yet again James Potter and Sirius Black proved that they both have virtually no soul. They acted like taunting Severus should be an Olympic sport, not that they, coming from pureblooded families, knew what the Olympics were. She thought about how minutes after James had approached her with a sly smile and asked her if she was going to the Halloween ball. The thought of even dancing with James Potter left a sour taste in her mouth. This year had to be their worst year of taunting and so far their least creative. Lily had shot them both looks of utter disapproval and had given them a stern tongue-lashing. On her way back to her dormitory, where she was going to study until her anger disappeared, she was accosted by two male 6th year Slytherins. They, of course, had witnessed the whole ordeal and had words of their own to share with Lily. The boys had said that Lily must have a crush on Severus to defend him like she did and that she was wasting her time because he would never have feelings for such a disgusting mudblood like her. She had ignored them, exhausted from her previous encounter and feeling as if her only course of action was to not dignify them with a response. Hogwarts had once felt like her home, but now it was beginning to feel like a hostile, unwelcoming place.

To take out her frustrations, Lily wrote a letter to her mum announcing that all boys were dim-witted slime balls. Of course that was not all she wrote, she told her mother how classes were going and she updated her on how things were going for Severus as well. Lily's mother had a soft spot in her heart for Lily's best friend, which is to be expected considering how long they had been friends. She skipped over the parts about dark magic and constant taunting when it came to Severus, sparing her mother the details that Lily herself wished she could ignore. She sighed as she read over the letter; it always made her feel better when she wrote to her mum. After she had carefully rolled up the parchment and secured it with a piece of white ribbon she headed up to the Owlery.

Lily loved her owl for several reasons, the first being that her parents had saved up so much money to surprise her with it. After her first few weeks at Hogwarts she discovered the owlrey and since her acceptance letter had been delivered by an owl, she realized that this was one of the ways people communicated in the wizarding world. She remembered hastily writing her mother a letter and using one of the school's owls to send it, secretly wishing she had her own owl to send letters with. When she returned home for the summer holiday after her first year her parents immediately sent her to her room where she gasped when she saw a beautiful auburn colored owl with big, bright eyes. The owl’s feathers were reddish, almost as red as the hair on her own head, but Lily had felt compelled to name it "Peaches" for its creamy orangish colored feathers on its breast.

She began her journey up to the Owlery slowly, but her pace quickened as she thought of seeing her owl again. Lily didn't have any treats to offer Peaches today, as she didn't have any money to spend on anything really. The scowl that had been a fixture on her face just an hour ago was replaced by a small, content smile. Her spirits had been greatly lifted and now the only thoughts entering her mind were peaceful, happy ones. She slowed as she approached the stairs to the owlery, her ears picking up the light breathing of someone a few steps ahead of her. Her heart raced and she prayed that it wouldn't be another one of those Slytherin boys. Tightening her robes around her, as if that would defend her from their unkind words, she took three, quiet steps up the stairs. Lily held her breath, threw her long, red hair behind her and carefully looked up the stairs. Her eyes adjusted to the darker lighting of the Owlery and a wide grin spread itself across her face when she realized who was sitting on the stairs. Now she took two, louder steps up the stairs, hoping he would look away from the owls and face her.

"Ello, Severus!" She said cheerfully, her eyes smiling just as brightly as her mouth. Truthfully Lily was glad to see him, after what had happened earlier she was worried she wouldn't be able to find him for the rest of the day. Of course she wouldn't discuss it with him, unless he brought it up, which she knew he never would. Much of their friendship consisted of a quiet comfort that they provided to one another, even without words Severus could make her feel as though things could be ok. And then there was their mutual love of Potions and their constant discovery of new Potions and spells. She enjoyed her time with Severus more than her time with anyone else, even if lately their time together was brief.

[• SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

[/i]; he couldn't care less about the girl's sister, non-magical as she was. Also insufferable, from what he had gathered even early on, and that assessment had turned out to be quite true, for as Severus spent more time with Lily, he also spent more time with Petunia, as much as he would have liked to avoid that. How the two were even related, Severus had no idea. Petunia was severe, unkind, judgmental, while her fairer sister was kind and accepting and loving. Polar opposites, they were, and Severus was eternally grateful that it was Lily who had the magical abilities and not the other one.

It wasn't long into Severus's search when an unexpected guest arrived, although at first he didn't realize that anyone had even entered the Owlery, let alone approach him. As it was, Severus had his eyes trained on a bird with magnificent copper feathers, lighter ones on its breast, and its eyes were turned toward him as if it knew it was being examined. The Slytherin boy tilted his head to the side, dark eyes narrowing, his heavy brow furrowing in concentration. The bird was high up, and if Severus really wanted a closer look he'd had to ascend a good amount of stairs, and Severus had the eerie feeling the owl's eyes would follow him on his ascent. Owls were extraordinary creatures, he knew, so the fact that this one was so aware of him shouldn't have come to a surprise to him, but something in the combination of him being alone and the darkness in the Owlery and the light in that owl's eyes made the entire situation eerie. It wasn't unpleasant; it wasn't as though Severus shied away from eerie things. It was just... something new. Severus internally gathered his strength (and he would need a lot to force himself to get up, determined as he was to brood over what had happened outside the greenhouses) and was about to stand when he heard two loud footsteps not far away from him.

Immediately, Sev's hand flew to his pocket, his long fingers wrapping tightly around his wand and a startled look on his face. The first thought he had was that either Potter or Black had followed him there and was going to attempt to get in another round before dinnertime, but the black-haired boy wasn't going to have that. He didn't care how much trouble he'd get in, those Gryffindor twits were going to get what was coming to them if they dared follow him for another barrage of insults.

But as soon as he caught sight of red hair and pretty green eyes his grip on his wand slackened and he dropped his hand from his pocket, an almost ashamed look on his face. 'Ello, Severus!' Lily said, cheerful as ever, and as he caught sight of her smile the adrenaline from the surprise evaporated in his veins and he found himself calming down. She had that effect on him, in most cases. Sometimes she made his heart speed up, but this was one of those instances in which Severus must have unconsciously been yearning that contentment she brought to him, so he latched onto it and found some inner peace with her arrival. But upon thinking - something Severus did much more often than most people at Hogwarts - a bit of panic returned. Severus replied with a quick, "Hello, Lily," to make sure that she didn't interpret his silence as thoughtfulness and ask him what he was thinking. But what he was thinking was that if Lily was there, in the Owlery, did that mean that she had followed him there? And if she had followed him there, she must have witnessed what had happened between him, Potter, and Black, and... Well, that would have just been horrible. Severus was humiliated enough; he didn't need the addition of Lily in that particular situation to make it worse. And how embarrassing would that have been, getting ridiculed by those two wankers with his beloved Lily as a spectator.

Severus, of course, didn't let this train of thought creep its way into the open, neither through speech or the expression on his face. Rather than let that happen, Severus opened his mouth to speak again, and as always it astounded him that he could so easily hide his emotions from Lily, because whenever he looked at her he felt like he was coming undone, so it was a wonder. It really was a wonder. "Sending a letter?" he asked, and as good as he thought he was doing at concealing his emotions, there was a certain edge to his voice that wouldn't have been there had the words of those other Gryffindors not stung him, and he hadn't just been looking for an owl that would compliment the girl, and those troubled thoughts about her witnessing his humiliation hadn't just hit him. "I was just sending one," he lied, scrambling for a less vague statement in his mind. "To Flourish and Blotts. I didn't get the latest edition of the Transfiguration textbook, you see, so..." He trailed off, waving his hand and giving Lily what he hoped was an exasperated expression, as if he couldn't be bothered with such silly, trivial things, but alas! such was life. He didn't like lying to her, and to be honest it hurt him more than he cared to admit, but it was important what she thought of him. More important than anything else, really, or at least that's what he thought with her there, in his presence, intoxicating him as always. In other company his priorities might be different, but right then it was Lily Evans, Lily Evans, Lily Evans.[/size][/ul]

[LILY MICHELLE EVANS]

Inside Lily sighed, part of her was hoping that Severus would open up to her on this occasion, let any bit of emotion show. The girl was smart enough to know that he wasn't devoid of any emotion concerning the events of the day and she was intuitive enough to know that his quick hello was masking something else. Of course she wouldn't pry; she never did with Sev out of hope that maybe just maybe one day he would trust her enough to really let her in. He snapped her out of her thoughts with his question, one that she was actually eager to answer.

"Yes actually, my Mum sent me one not too long asking how we were doing. I just wanted to send her a quick reply, keep her updated."

We. Lily liked referring to herself and Severus as we. She was fond of all the word implied, like perhaps they had always belonged that way. Yes, Lily liked to think of them as belonging together, at least in some way, and the word resonated in her head long after she had spoken it.

She turned away from Severus for just a moment in order to retrieve her owl. Stretching out her arm, she called out to Peaches, who immediately responded with a gentle "hoot" before she flew over and perched on her outstretched limb. Lily pet her gently before attaching the letter to her and giving her a few instructions. Before she flew off, Lily turned to face Severus again.

"Well I hope that maybe Peaches was of some assistance to you, she would gladly send a letter for you anytime. Even though, after all this time, I don't believe the two of you have been properly introduced! This is Peaches, my owl, silly name . . . I know, but I was twelve when I gave her it. Anyway, you should have let me know about your Transfiguration book, if yours doesn't come in soon maybe we could study together sometime?"

She gave Sev a wide, almost silly grin; she was a little embarrassed to tell him her owl's name and to even show her to him. Lily had never shown Severus her owl for no particular reason other than that she saw no need to up until this point. There was also this idea in her head, always floating around, that if she showed any sort of pride in something she had that she knew he didn't, he would think she was bragging and being rude. If there was one thing that Lily would not be able to bear, it was the idea that Severus thought anything bad about her. He made her want to be a good person, a kind and loyal person, because that's how he always was with her.

After her last sentence, which was really more of a question (and a rather hopeful one at that), Peaches had flown off and Lily's now tired arm quickly returned to her side. Noticing that there was just enough room for her to sit next to Sev, she invited herself to take a seat. Her arm was now touching his lightly and she could feel the warmth radiating off of it. The knowledge that their bodies were so close left her with a tingly feeling, one that she had experienced only a few times before with Sev. This had to be one of those moments where her body was admitting something that she wouldn't let her mind. In her fourth year the thought that perhaps she and Severus were something more than friends had worked its way into her mind, but she quickly dismissed it. This dismissal wasn't because it was something she wouldn't consider for herself, but rather something she thought Severus would never consider. With his increased involvement in the dark arts and his pack of pure-blooded friends it seemed impossible that he would ever allow himself to be romantically linked to a muggle born.

She tried desperately to focus on something else, to take her mind off of just about everything that was going on at that moment. Lily looked over at Sev and felt a little better; if she could just focus on his face . . . then she wouldn't have to even think about their touching arms. The wait for his reply felt like forever, even though she knew that it was only a matter of seconds. The whole situation was very strange for Lily, she normally didn't get so giddy when it came to Sev. He was her best friend, the person she could be herself around. Something about the owlery made this encounter different, perhaps it was how quiet and private it was compared to most other places in Hogwarts.

((Sorry, I know it's not great . . next one will be better, promise!))

[• SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

[/i] compliment its master's hair very well, and its eyes were just as bright as hers. Severus's smirk grew into a smile as he observed this, tilting his head a little and simply observing as Lily gave her owl some whispered instructions. The owl lingered only a little, and Lily turned and addressed him. 'Well, I hope that maybe Peaches could be of some assistance to you. She would gladly send a letter for you any time.' At this, Severus felt a pang, his pride momentarily wounded, but he didn't show it externally. He didn't think she was rude or a braggart, not by any stretch of either term, but he was slightly ashamed of himself. There was a little comfort in the fact that Lily was under no impression that Severus was wealthy, so it wasn't as though he was expected to have the luxurious of better-off witches and wizards, but still. He was embarrassed, momentarily, because he had so little. It couldn't have been an attractive quality in her pretty green eyes.

Despite that pang, Lily went on talking. 'This is Peaches, my owl... Silly name...' And Severus couldn't help but smile again, and give her a nod and an expression that seemed to say, 'Yes... Yes it is rather silly.' Lily rushed on, probably trying to put as much distance in the conversation between the present and her owl's name as possible. 'Anyway, you should have let me know about your Transfiguration book. If yours doesn't come in soon, maybe we could study together sometime?' Immediately, Severus's heart leaped, and it was funny that it still did so after so many years of being Lily Evans' closest friend. It must have meant something, then, that it still excited him so much to be in her company: that his pulse still quickened whenever he thought of the two of them being alone together. To be honest, Severus had the correct Transfiguration book and had not been sending for the correct edition, but he would pretend all year that he hadn't a book if that meant studying and being close to Lily.

It was no wonder that his heartbeat went even quicker when she sat so near, and he looked at her as though he had never seen her before. "Yes," he managed to say, and his distant tone did a very good job of masking the bubbling excitement he felt under the surface. "I think it would do well for me to look over the book once in a while. I don't really want to fail that class; I imagine McGonagall would have my hide if my grades slumped out of nowhere." Of course that wasn't anywhere near the reason he really wanted to look over the book - or, more specifically, Lily's book - but if he were speaking truthfully he might say something like, 'Anything to spend another minute close to you,' or, 'I won't be concentrating on the book so much as concentrating on you.' He didn't say anything of the sort and would never, in a million years, say such things to his best friend, but that's what was behind his careful eyes and clamped behind cautious lips.

Severus was almost painfully aware of how close Lily was, and when she looked at him he smiled, seeing himself reflected in her green eyes. His likeness in those green depths seemed to him offensive and indecent, and he would ask her to look away if only he didn't so much enjoy the brightness, the color, the emotion that was always displayed in her eyes. It was a little comfort knowing that, even if he had asked her to avert her gaze, she would have stubbornly refused. He knew Lily well enough to know that.

The Slytherin boy realized that he had been staring and smiling stupidly for too long, and grasped for a subject of conversation. "I should have been more careful about my books, really. What with our O.W.L.s being this year. I imagine I'll need that Transfiguration book more than ever." And, on a lighter note, he sighed a little and said, "I'm not sure I'm ready for all the studying. I've heard it's just grueling." He wasn't at all worried about whether or not he would do well on these tests, but he figured a concealment of his ego would be a good idea. Sometimes, but not all the time, he had tact, at least.[/size][/ul]

[LILY MICHELLE EVANS]

He had said yes, but it was nothing like the yes she would have given in his situation. Lily would have been bright and enthusiastic, like she always ways, but she would have made sure that Severus knew it wasn't the studying she was excited for. Of course she wouldn't have come right out and said that it was spending time with him that excited her, she had more subtle, nonverbal ways of doing that. Even though he was a boy of fifteen she was sure that he'd pick up on her subtle clues because he paid more attention than the average boy his age, he was special. So his response had disappointed her, not greatly because he had agreed, but just enough that her smile had faltered for a quick moment. This, she hoped he wouldn't notice, or read the wrong way, but they were so close that she was scared he would. He was smiling though, actually smiling, this was a rare enough occurrence for Lily to take care to pay close attention, to take the time to memorize the lines and curves of his face while she could.

She fumbled for an answer, not wanting anything less than appropriate to slip from her tongue. Lily was quick though and didn’t have to think for too long before something popped into her head. She started off quickly, in a slightly shocked sort of tone, like what he had said about failing and a slump in grades were completely impossible. Really, she did find those two things highly unlikely. Even his excuse for why he was in the owlery to begin with didn’t quite add up, it wasn’t like Sev to make such a mistake. Severus was a lot like her, focused on his studies, but she considered him a bit more intelligent and practical than she was. When Lily would have a clever but difficult idea for a spell or potion, Severus would find a way to make it work. Part of their friendship stemmed from how well they worked together and how they almost perfectly filled in the gaps of each other’s personalities.

"You? Fail? You know there's not a chance, you've never failed at a single thing and I doubt one book could keep you from doing well in McGonagall's class or any other for that matter."

A compliment regarding his intelligence was all she could think to give him. Really, she'd like to shower him with a million other compliments, none of them involving classes or grades or even Hogwarts. If she were brave enough to take the chance, to risk possible rejection or confusion, she would tell him exactly what she thought of him, dark arts or no dark arts; preferably no dark arts and no pureblooded snobs. She hated those two things, if only she could convince them how wrong they were. He had to know that pureblooded supremacy was wrong, if he had agreed with his friends entirely than he wouldn't be caught even looking at her. The dark arts were another matter; she was too steadfast in her morals and values to ever be OK with him practicing them. Of course this hadn't changed her opinion of him, she still thought he was wonderful and on the off chance that they ever decided to date, she would really work on convincing him that they were dangerous. Lily Evans, you are a coward, she thought to herself. This was the one instance, the only one, where Lily Evans would be a coward or even call herself a coward. She had no problem telling James Potter and Sirius Black exactly what she thought of them and those thoughts were anything but kind; why couldn't she just let something, anything slip out?

"But you are correct; it always helps to give the book a look over. Just let me know when, you know you can ask me anytime."

You can ask me to go to the Halloween Ball anytime, too. And again her thoughts were running off elsewhere, to the places where most girls her age had thoughts, but usually about Sirius Black. She was being silly and girlish, completely un-Lily. She fought off a blush, as if he had heard her thoughts or sensed it in her voice. Focus on something else, anything else, O.W.L.s, yes, that'll do. So she shoved everything else aside and prepared herself for a conversation about the O.W.L.s. There was nothing dangerous or revealing about the O.W.L.s, nothing private her voice and face could reveal about them. They were nothing but safe.

"Oh for sure, I've already started my studying. I've read through about half of my potions text, although I can't say I mind reading through it. Most of my studying and reading feels like it's more for pleasure than anything else. I suppose I'm one of the few though, which is why I think they've decided to hold a Halloween Ball. Or maybe they're doing it just because it's Halloween. Are you going?"

Lily let out a short laugh at her own rambling, sometimes her words just tumbled out of her mouth before she really had a chance to think about them. This time she was certain they were coming out so quickly to help ease her mind, to avoid thinking about her sweaty palms and quick beating chest. She assured herself that later on, in the privacy of her own dormitory, she would be able to dismiss her feelings, but right now, in the presence of Sev, it was impossible. Her mind tried to convince her heart that this was all a misunderstanding, that she would feel this way if she were alone with any boy, that it must be fifteen year old hormones at play. Lily never thought about these things, of course she let her emotions take over sometimes, which is why she was always so quick to snap at James and Sirius when they taunted her best friend. Her best friend, Severus, and that was all . . . even if she wanted more, even though she was trying to convince herself she didn't want more, at least she had his friendship. Oh how stubborn she could be sometimes, she knew exactly how she felt and exactly what she wanted, but it was such a chore for her to admit it. Her stubbornness was getting in the way of her happiness, not that she wasn't happy being Sev's friend. She appreciated his friendship very much, even if she was secretly settling for it.

[• SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

[/i], but slightly unpleasant. But that would be addressed very soon. 'Oh, for sure, I've already started my studying,' Lily said, and at that Severus gave a gentle smile. Of course she had. She was so smart and wonderful and pretty and... 'I've read through about half of my Potions text, although I can't say I mind reading through it.' Severus, of course, felt the same way; Potions was his best class, easily, and he had a certain skill at it that not many, if any other, students could boast of. Lily was talented herself, of course, but really Severus had ingenuity, original ideas, tha ability to better any potion that was in his textbook (these were things, of course, that he wouldn't say to Lily, or things that he often thought of himself, but a third party would be able to look on his work and see that it was extraordinary). Lily continued speaking, and that was where Severus was taken aback.

'...I suppose I'm one of the few, though, which is why I think they've decided to hold a Halloween Ball. Or maybe they're doing it just because it's Halloween. Are you going?' Severus froze for a second, blinked his eyes a few times. Halloween Ball? Had he heard of this, had one of the professors mentioned it? He hardly remembered such a subject coming up, and he was sure that he would remember something like that; it wasn't annually that they had a Halloween Ball, was it? Had Severus been so ignorant of all social interaction that he hadn't even noticed a bloody ball happening under his nose all four other years he had been at Hogwarts? Surely that couldn't have been it... although to be honest, reader, that would be so far from the truth of his social ability. As it was, the Halloween Ball was definitely news to him, so it was no wonder he had a bit of a shock when Lily mentioned it in their conversation. "Oh, the Halloween Ball, of course," Severus said, a little disbelief in his voice, and it was obvious by his reaction, which he didn't make an attempt to cover up, that he was slightly confused by the concept. "Well, I hardly know if I'll go..." he started, and the more he thought about it, the more he became quite decided on the matter.

The idea of a Halloween Ball, he realized, was horrifying to him. He kept to himself as often as possible, except where Lily was concerned, of course, and the idea of flouncing about in dress robes or some kind of ridiculous, novel costume chilled him to the bone. First off, he knew he would never be able to afford either vestment; no dress robes, no costume, and he would never, ever show up to such an event in something secondhand. Not that the rest of his things weren't secondhand; oh, they were, but somehow it was different when the occasion was so formal, so lovely. No, he wouldn't be able to bear the embarrassment, and he had an idea that, without fail, either Potter or Black would find him there, no matter how big the crowd - and then would commence such a teasing as he had never encountered. No, he couldn't have that. Couldn't have that at all. But when Severus opened his mouth, looked at Lily to tell her that of course he wouldn't be going, it seemed like a foolish thing - he caught sight of her pretty face and a new thought, a different thought, flashed through his cunning Slytherin mind. Imagine if he could go with her. Imagine dancing with her! Imagine her being so close and being led by him in a dance, oh Merlin that was certainly an image he wouldn't be able to get out of his head quickly. But as joyous as that fantasy had made him initially, it soon depressed him. Because it would never happen. Lily was his best friend, no matter how he loved her, and a best friend was what she wanted to be to him; nothing more. So there was no point in thinking about dancing with her, or even about asking her to go with him. So he opened his mouth again, shaking his head: "No, I don't think I'll be going. I'm sure I could spend my time doing something a little more... productive."

Bugger.

"Not that... I mean, well, if someone wanted to go and enjoy themselves I'm sure that'd be fine by them, but it's just not... That is to say, I wouldn't think less of a person if they decided to go, I'm sure such a thing would be rather fun, and... Well. Well are you going?" He had done very well in talking himself in a hole he wasn't going to get out of anytime soon, and he internally chastised himself. Well done, Severus. Well done indeed. Offend the girl, why don't you, make her feel stupid for asking you. Really, you did a good job. You wanker. A look of slight panic came over Severus's face and it took all his self-control not to smack himself in the forehead like some kind of failing house elf. He would have done well with a good flogging at the moment, he was so tactless and stupid.[/size][/ul]

[LILY MICHELLE EVANS]

Lily shook her head and smiled at Severus, she couldn't imagine why he was still even entertaining the notion of failing. He knew just as well as she did that it was impossible. As far as she could tell McGonagall loved him for his wit, timeliness and seemingly uncompromising manners. Lily knew that most professors saw him as an ideal student, especially Professor Slughorn who was fascinated by him. Slughorn was always encouraging Lily and complimenting her work, but it was no secret that his real pride lay within Severus. Lily wasn't bothered by this or in the least bit jealous, she was proud of Severus as well and honored that he let her see some of his work and sometimes took her suggestions into consideration. After all, she was the only magical person in her family, so it's not as if she had been around magic her entire life. Severus's mother was magical, which to Lily meant that it might be easier for him to pick up magical concepts than it was for her. What Lily loved was that she knew how proud Severus was of how much he excelled in Potions and that he must be aware of how ahead of the other students he was, but he would never brag or boast, at least not in front of Lily. She thought it was rather admirable, especially considering all of the praise Slughorn gave him. Lily felt as if there was nothing more she could say on the matter and that a broad smile, a headshake and a slight chuckle were more than enough of an answer to his statements.

To Lily, the conversation had shifted rather easily from the O.W.L.s to the Halloween ball, but now she was feeling as if she should have taken a bit more caution with the subject. Obviously the shift came as somewhat of a shock to Severus because unlike his normal reactions, which were well thought out, calm and collected, this one was abrupt and a little harsh. If what he said had been, oh anything other than what he did say, she might have felt glad and relieved that she had caught him off guard enough for him to show some emotion. But, alas, Lily's heart sank when she heard his reply. "No, I don't think I'll be going. I'm sure I could spend my time doing something a little more... productive."

How foolish she had been! She cursed herself for even bringing up the dance in the first place and her face quickly flushed. Up until that moment, Lily had been so hopeful, so looking forward to the possibility that Severus might ask her. She had even considered the idea of just asking him to the dance, but it all had depended on his reaction to the general idea of a Halloween ball. His words rang in her head and she tried to quickly recover, tried desperately to come up with a little quip or the energy to shrug it off. Instead, all she could do was give him a weak smile as he hastily tried to smooth over what he had said.

Her cheeks felt so hot, her palms so wet and her stomach wasn't doing much better. She wondered if her face was as red as it felt, to her it seemed like it was probably as red as the hair on her head. No doubt, there was a bit of color in her cheeks, but when one cannot see oneself during a moment such as this, one's mind tends to exaggerate. Then he asked if she was going and normally Lily would see this as an opportunity to right the situation, to brush off the dance like he had. For as hard as it was to wound her pride, Severus had unintentionally been successful and as skillfull as she was at bouncing back from almost any type of embarrassing moment, Lily could not quite bounce back from this one. She attempted another smile, one that was a bit awkward and quickly replied, hoping that the movements of her mouth could mask her severe disappointment and embarrassment. How could she admit to him now that she had wanted to go? How could she even look at him when just moments before she had been crossing her fingers in the hope that he'd ask her to go? Why would she even imagine that the thought would cross his mind? Lily's mind was whirling with all kinds of questions, but she was still able to force something out. Brush it off, Lily, say something . . .quick!

"Well I - I thought it might be a nice distraction. But heh - well - I really don't have anything to dress up in anyway and uh, I don't usually -"

She swallowed hard, trying to finish and trying to force down the lump that was forming in her throat. That night there was no denying that her pillow would be soaked with tears, not that she'd ever admit to anyone that she had cried in embarrassment, especially since this was a different kind than she had ever experienced before. Of course, Sev would probably have no idea why she looked so upset and disappointed and would probably think that she was more sensitive than she actually was. It might have been a smart idea to admit to him that she had wanted to go to the dance with him, dismiss it off as a silly notion or say that she would have liked to go as friends. Lily still had a bit of pride though and wanted desperately to avoid any further awkwardness.

"I don't usually mind studying, so I suppose that's how I'll spend the night. And anyway, I think it's the sort of thing you bring a date to."

Lily was doing better, after she had fairly successfully gotten over the lump, but the whole date thing spilled out of her mouth. Inside she groaned, this one little word, 'date', would probably make things even more awkward for the both of them. She couldn't think of a single thing to say that wouldn't come out offensive or give him the wrong impression. Lily wasn't completely ready to say something like 'not that I have anyone to go with' or 'and I'm not really looking for a date' because those things would discourage any thoughts he had of asking her. Of course, after everything, she knew it was silly to even leave that door open. He wouldn't ask her, he wouldn't dare ask his muggleborn best friend.

[• SEVERUS TOBIAS SNAPE]

[/i] Lily had said. 'I think it's the sort of thing you bring a date to.'

Severus could do nothing more than blink a few times, his dark eyes wide and his eyebrows raised slightly. Well if this situation wasn't entirely awkward. The two were awkward some of the time, but this had to be some kind of new height. Bloody wonderful. And what's more, the mention of the word 'date' had brought a new emotion into the equation, at least on Severus's part. If Lily decided to go, then, would she have a date? It certainly wouldn't be Severus himself, so whoever it was- no matter who it was- would make the Sytherin more jealous than he had ever been before in his life. Imagine having to hear from Lily that someone had asked her and she was going to go to the Ball and have a wonderful, wonderful time. And what if something more were to happen between the two! Like... like... kissing?! Lily Evans, kissing some other boy! No. No. Absolutely not. That couldn't happen.

But another thing that couldn't happen was Severus asking Lily to be his date.

"Oh." Severus said shortly, and a small scowl appeared on his face. "Well then I'm definitely not going." Maybe, he thought, if he seemed so judgmental about the idea of the Halloween Ball, Lily would reconsider going at all, even if someone asked her. "Anyway, it's all vanity anyway. Just an excuse for those of higher stature to show everyone how nice their dress robes are." Severus sneered, and then shifted where he was sitting, almost violently propping his elbow on his knee and then putting his chin in his hand. He was sure that bloody Potter and Black would show up to the ball in the richest fabrics and the most flattering cuts and the height of wizarding fashion, or they would have the best costumes if it was that sort of party, and everyone would love them and look at them and think that they were the bloody cream of the crop. In a sorry attempt to lighten the mood slightly, Sev did add, "And I'd have to go wearing that old smock I had on when we first met," and with some effort there was a bit of a laugh in his voice. He kept his eyes forward, not letting them stray to his best friend's face, because the last time he had glanced at it he had noticed that her cheeks were a charming shade of pink, and really he could only hold out on asking her to go with him to the Ball for so long with that face in his sights.

"Well if you end up going," Severus said with some finality, wanting nothing more than the conversation about the Ball to be over, "Do let me know what it was like. I bet the decorations are going to be really great. And the food. I wonder what sort of music..." He trailed off, realizing that he was getting far too absorbed in the subject again, and he shrugged his shoulders before straightening up where he was sitting. "Right. Well then." He really didn't know what the hell else the two were going to talk about now that he had made an effort to stop the talk of the Halloween Ball. He knew where his thoughts would be that night; no doubt he'd be dreaming of Lily in a pretty green dress, dancing around the Great Hall with some faceless bloke- one that strangely had a mop of hair that resembled that bloody Potter boy's- and putting on a show for everyone to see. And, as his dreams were hardly ever kind when he was in moods like this, it would probably go on to some snogging and Severus would wake up with a sick, sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and the green serpent of jealousy would practically be choking him.

Severus cleared his throat and stood up, turning toward Lily and giving her what he hoped was a convincing smile. "I should probably be going," he said, nodding. "Lessons aren't over for today and all that, and I should probably get in some studying while I can." Merlin, if that wasn't the most pathetic excuse in the world. For a Slytherin he was being remarkably un-cunning that day. But that was just what Lily did to him; made him forget that he was one of the smarter people in his class, made him forget that he had the mental capabilities of someone far beyond his age. Made him forget that he didn't always have to show the emotion he was feeling, and that it was usually better if he didn't show emotion at all. Severus knew that only Lily, and no one else, would be able to do that to him. He had no doubt about that. He knew that in 5 years, or 10 years, or 20 years, Lily would be it. In the back of his mind he hoped that they would be together by then, but of course he didn't have the confidence to consciously hope that sort of thing. After all, he hated himself, and wondered why Lily even bothered half the time, so to even amuse the notion that she would ever want to be with him was... pointless, really, wasn't it? She was too pretty for him anyway. Although he knew that sort of thing didn't matter to the Gryffindor girl in the least.

"Next time you get a letter from your Mum you should tell her I say hello," Severus said, and nodded again. He cleared his throat once more and shifted toward the door of the owlery and as he moved he couldn't help but feel that many, many, many pairs of eyes were trained on him. And in a judgmental way. The only pair of eyes he cared about were those pretty green ones, and Severus was miserable when he noted that there might have been a little bit of hurt in them. He would have done better to stay and talk things out with Lily, remove the awkwardness and hopefully make those eyes smile again, but... Well, once again with the Slytherin boy's lack of tact. And, apparently, common sense. "Bye, Lily. I'll see you around. Going to need that Transfiguration book and all... yeah..." And with that, Severus waved shortly and bolted, cursing himself audibly as he made his way down the stairs and over the grounds, back towards the castle. What a thick-headed troll he was. What an inelegant, inarticulate, bumbling fool. It really was a wonder that he had Lily as a friend at all.[/size][/ul]